Sull’onda emotiva del “caso” Kesha a cui gran parte del mondo musicale (non solo femminile) sta dando solidarietà e sostegno. Arriva la grave denuncia di Larkin Grimm, 34enne musicista di Memphis, che otto anni fa (per il suo terzo album ‘Parplar’, pubblicato dalla Young God Records) ha collaborato con Michael Gira. Il leader degli Swans sarebbe stato protagonista di una violenza sessuale che la cantautrice americana racconta in un dettagliato post pubblicato sul profilo Facebook. La risposta di Gira arriva più tardi sul profilo degli Swans. Di seguito ecco i testi integrali.
I will give you some history about why I am sharing the story about Thomas Sayers Ellis’s abusive behavior now. I didn’t always stand up for myself. Rape is a loaded word. No man wants to be a rapist. It implies cowardice as well as violence. It undermines the sexual power and magnetism that every man would like to have. No woman wants to be known as a rape victim, either. I want to be known for my strength, intelligence, and talent. Not known as a victim. My story with Michael Gira is an absolute tragedy that I have kept secret for too long. I am only speaking of it now because after being accused of “lynching” Thomas, I cannot ethically keep Michael’s secret any longer. He’s a white guy, and his crime was far worse than what Thomas did to me or Margaret.
Michael Gira and I had a beautiful, fruitful collaboration on my album Parplar. He was my record label boss and producer. He was my beloved, trusted mentor, really my guru. I lived in his house with him and his wife Siobhan and I babysat their daughter frequently in between working on new songs and incorporating Michael’s valuable input. I loved him more than I have loved just about anyone, but I did not want to have sex with him, and I made that very clear over and over. In the spring of 2008, on the night that we finished recording Parplar at Trout Recordings with Bryce Goggin, we went out to eat at a steakhouse. My friend Johnny Dido was our waiter. We were with Michael’s friends and they were drinking heavily and encouraging me to keep up with them. I’m a pretty lightweight drinker. At the end of the night it became obvious that I was too drunk to drive home, too drunk to even walk straight. Michael invited me to stay with his friends. They said they had a bed for me and that Michael would sleep on the floor. I trusted them and agreed.
At the apartment of Michael’s friends, I crawled into bed without changing my clothes or brushing my teeth. I just passed out. A little later Michael woke me up coughing. He had bad asthma, and sleeping on the floor in the dust was aggravating it. I told him, slurred, half asleep, that he could sleep in the bed, just not to touch me. A little bit later I woke up with his penis inside me, no condom. As I opened my eyes, he said, “Uh, this doesn’t feel right.” and he pulled out.
The next morning, Michael begged me not to tell his wife about what happened. I drove home, numb. Then I took my bike around the block and got hit by a car, injuring my hip. That day I wrote one of my best songs, “The Butcher, or Without a Body or a Numb and Useless Mind.” It was the last song I would be able to write for a few years. I spent the next 6 months in a suicidal depression. Michael would call frequently to talk about the progress on my record and to talk dirty to me. He would tell me he loved me and that he would leave his wife for me. I would refuse to talk dirty to him and try to bring the conversation back to business. When we met, the interactions were often sexually charged and I would squirm out of them as best I could. We never had sex again although he tried over and over, making me absolutely miserable. Mastering the record with Fred Kevorkian was particularly difficult. Michael took the opportunity to kiss me in the elevator, and I complied because I really, really, really wanted to be a successful musician. He’d often say to me, “I’m gonna make you a star, Larkin. You can trust me.”
I stuck with this pattern for a long time, through my record release and the tours (with Michael!!) supporting it, but when it came time to write a new record, I found my creativity was totally blocked. I told Michael that he had had sex with me against my will and that I didn’t feel safe with him any more. He then dropped me from Young God Records.
Many people have assumed, over the years, that Michael and I had a love affair, and in a way, for a time, maybe we did. But I never consented to having sex with him. I wouldn’t have wanted to ruin such an important opportunity that way. Technically, he raped me. It took me a long time to admit that to myself. Years. Michael Gira, my producer, raped me and dumped me from his label when I confronted him about it, needing to feel safe.
What happened was awful, but as a prison abolitionist, an anarchist, and a nice person I didn’t want to destroy his whole life with a rape charge. Looking back, he didn’t think twice about destroying mine.
Sending my love to #Kesha I know how you feel. At least I got out of my record deal, though I was never offered another one after that.
The horrible and untrue accusations from larkin grimm: I am completely shocked myself. This is a slanderous lie. I will respond vigorously to defend my name against this horrible slur. I trust in the intelligence of those who have followed my work and respect me as a person, to know this is NOT the person I am. The rumor mill/”confessional” Facebook post travels like fire- but this one is lies. More soon. This is an utter nightmare. thank you for your support. please spread the word. this is lies!
UPDATE/1– Su Facebook arriva anche la risposta di Jennifer Gira moglie di Michael.
I was enjoying not being on FB precisely for the social media nightmare(s) I must rejoin to address now, due to a former musical “protege” on my husband Michael Gira’s record label has accused him of being a rapist……in 2008. As you may know, Michael dropped Larkin, and she has been jilted about it ever since. Larkin may know in the past, Michael has shuddered and simply deleted her harassing emails/texts, rambling obsessive tomes, declarations of unrequited love, hate speech, and threats to him. but, guess what sweetheart!- his wife is well aware—-and his wife, is rather analytical, organized, -and doesn’t put up with any bullshit. I have PROOF, in Larkin’s own hand, that her allegations of Michael raping her *did not happen.* I REPEAT It is false. (Larkin-you should have been much more careful whom you emailed/messaged/purged/”reached out” to in “heartfelt” way, etc etc, or in letting yourself use a computer, during what seems to have been from the illiad of messages sent to my husband that are c-r-a-z-y -suffering from a manic/bipolar or chemical relapse episode)That is unfortunate-for you. I have nothing but empathy for a person who has experienced assault. After all, *I* survived an extremely violent rape/kidnap attempt, which resulted in, (through my fighting hand to hand combat) in great injury to myself-but it saved my life. My entire life was affected. I was diagnosed with severe PTSD, panic disorder, and often have difficulty walking to my car in the Target parking lot after dark, sometimes bursting into tears. Do I like sharing such info on the internet? NO, but I feel at this juncture, I have no choice. I didn’t have any “artist love affair” (puh-leeze) -it was a complete stranger. Nevertheless, it causes me such pain-daily, there is a song on a new Swans album, Michael wrote for me- (that I sing myself) I have not even listened to the song more than once since its recording, It upsets me so much to even hear myself sing it. This was, a loving attempt from Michael Gira to help me heal from such a horrible event. I take great insult in you accusing my husband of something like I went through. (And I have the police report, injury records, doctors, therapies, witnesses, etc) This isn’t meant to be tit for tat, but, I hate liars. I hope people do share this post. -and I hope Larkin sees it, and I hope she is wrecked with nerves, because I repeat, I have *PROOF in her own hand* that what she wrote today is false about my husband. I am currently being muzzled (by atttorneys, managers, labels, and the like) but rest assured, the truth will come out. Larkin, you will publicly apologize, and face serious consequences. Please share. P.S anyone who bashed my husband or his music, when they see the proof- is going to feel like a complete fool.I hope you feel shame, and think about your actions. I am not negating a negative experience by a woman or man in a sexual context, or god forbid an assault on anyone, but it is SCARY AS HELL, that some mentally unbalanced (and admittedly so, *you’ll see that too, once I release what I have*) can just post on Facebook, and the entire internet music press runs the story as “fact” -Any musician or artist in the public eye (or not, really this concerns everyone) should be wary, VERY WARY p.s. “the boy who cried wolf” is a great allegory for the starfucker-in the end- nobody listened to either of them howl.
UPDATE/2 – Larkin Grimm pubblica un’ulteriore precisazione sempre via Facebook:
I am not going to defend myself against blind dogs with deaf ears. I will, however, gladly discuss a thousand ideas for how to change rape culture. Lets start with educating our children about consent. I suspect it will be more helpful than abstinence only education in convincing kids to have sex responsibly. Sex can be so beautiful and fun, but it can also be so cruel, life-destroying, and devastating. Teach them that at 13. See what happens. I have received so many messages in the last day from sweet, confused men asking “I did this thing once that I don’t feel comfortable about. Am I a rapist?” Those messages break my heart as much as the messages from women detailing horrible experiences of rape that they have kept secret.
UPDATE/3 – Un’ora dopo Michael Gira ribatte pubblicando un’intervista della Grimm vecchia di quattro anni.
I’ll make some kind of full statement soon after i speak with my attorney, but in the meantime, here’s an interview w larkin from 2012 (leggi).
Ecco il passaggio importante:
Your 2008 album Parplar was co-produced by Michael Gira and released on his label. What was it like working with him?
Totally magical and wonderful. I love that guy. We parted ways for good reasons but it was an experience that changed my life for the better. Mr. Gira is a very inspiring man. He is also a truly good, kindhearted person. Not everybody realizes that about him because his music is so intense. I think I could work in the studio with that guy forever and be happy. But our lives outside the studio really clash.
UPDATE/4 – Michael Gira e il comunicato ufficiale:
Eight years ago, while I was still married to my first wife, Larkin Grimm and I headed towards a consensual romantic moment that fortunately was not consummated. As she wrote in her recent social media postings about that night, I said to her, “this doesn’t feel right,” and abruptly but completely our only intimate encounter ended. It was an awkward mistake. Larkin may regret, as I certainly do, that the ill-advised tryst went even that far, but now, as then, I hold her in high esteem for her music and her courage as an artist. I long ago apologized to my wife and family and told them the truth about this incident. My hope is that Larkin finds peace with the demons that have been darkening her soul since long before she and I ever met.
UPDATE/5 – Larkin Grimm risponde ufficialmente:
This is a perfect example of why we need to have education about consent. In a gentlemanly move he admits the act happened but cannot conceive of himself as a rapist. Thank you Michael Gira for your honesty. This is your truth as you remember it. Unfortunately, this was still rape. I said no to you many times before that day, begged you not to interfere with me sexually, even made it a part of a verbal agreement we had when I signed a contract with you. I asked you to promise that you would never have sex with me. You assured me that I could trust you. That is about as clear a NO as I could ever cry. I asked for this because I had had other experiences in my music career and I KNEW. That night I was far too intoxicated to give you consent for any sexual act. The psychological effects of this betrayal were devastating. Even worse, when I finally confronted you about what you had done, you terminated my relationship with Young God Records, damaging my career and leading people to believe there was something wrong with me or my music. In the end, this is about business. Art is my career. I have worked long and hard for this career, making incredible sacrifices along the way to continue to make music. The fact that a man in power can throw a women’s life and work away like they are garbage, simply because she won’t sleep with him, is an immoral injustice that happens to many, many women in music. I won’t stand for it and neither should you. The “Demons darkening my soul” are the men like you who interfere with my ability to do my work as a musician. This is a job I am good at. All I want is to be left in peace while I am working.
UPDATE/6 – Ancora la Grimm qualche ora dopo pubblica una “difesa” d’ufficio.
Dora Bleu has defended me against Jennifer Gira’s disturbing message in the most intelligent, nuanced and true piece of writing. I’m so happy to share this. If anyone out there knows Jennifer Gira, please pray for her, send her healing. I am deeply concerned for her wellbeing as she was so cruelly thrown under the bus and used as a human shield and publicly humiliated. Her statements were hurtful, but I know what it is like to be in Gira’s orbit. I thank all those who defended me against her and I ask everyone, respectfully, to please refrain from humiliating her further. I have never met her but I wish her freedom from suffering. (leggi)
UPDATE/7 – Larkin Grimm: Some friends are getting really disturbed by the media and the comments. The comments are always ugly. They are only disturbing to you because you know me, and you disagree with what a stranger is saying about me. Don’t let it upset you too much. I never cared what people think of me. My life is an open book. I just outed my last big secret. That makes me feel free.
UPDATE/8 – La cantautrice pubblica un nuovo brano proprio dedicato alle vittime degli abusi sessuali. Ecco ‘I Don’t Believe‘. “This song was written for all the survivors of abuse. You are not alone”.